第34章爱在不言不语中（5）
Iestlysayitwasthebestoftimesaoftimes。Iwasjoyfullyexpegmyfirstchild，atthesametimethatmyetic，zestfulmotherwaslosilewithabraintumor。
Fortenyears，myfierdepeaherhadfought，buthesurgeriesortreatmentshadbeeill，sheherabilitytosmile。Butnow，finally，atonlyfifty-five，shebecametotallydisabled—uospeak，walk，eatordressonherown。
Asshegrewdybabygrewdclosertolifeinsideme。Mybiggestfearwasthattheirliveswould。Igrievednotonlyfortheupymother，butalsothatsheandmybabywouldneverkher。
Myfearseemedwell-founded。Afewweeksbeforemyduedate，motherlapsedintoadeepa。Herdoctorsdidnotholdaoldushertime。Itwasuselesstoputiube，theysaid。Shewouldnevera>
&motherhometoherownbedinherownhouse，aedookeepherfortable。AsoftenasIcould，Isatbesideheraoheraboutthebabymovinginsideme。Ihopedthatsomehowdeepinside，sheknew。
OnFebruary3，1989，ataboutthesametimemylaborstarted，motheropenedhereyes。Wheoldmethisatthehospital，Icalledherhomeahephoomom'sear。
"Mom—Mom—listen。Thebabyising！Ytohaveanewgrandchild。Doyouuand？"
"Yes！"
Whatawonderfulword！Thefirstclearwordshe'dspokeninmonths！
WhenIcalledagainanhourlater，theherhousetoldmetheimpossible：Momwassittingup，heroxygentubesremoved。Shewassmiling！
"Mom，it'saboy！Youhaveanewgrandson！"
"Yes！Yes！Iknow！"
Fourwords。Fourbeautifulwords。
BythetimeIbroughtJawassittinginherchair，dressedaowel。TearsofjoyblockedmyvisionasIlaidmysoninherarmsandshecluckedathim。Theystaredateachother。
Theyknew。
Fortwomoreweeks，motherclucked，smiledandheldJacob。Fortwoweeksshespoketomyfather，herandgrandiewomiracleweeks，shegaveusjoy。
Thelyslippedbaaahevisitsfromallher，wasfihepainsandesofabodythatnolongerdidherwill。
Memoriesofmyson'sbirthwillalwaysbebittersweetforme，butitwasatthistimethatIlearnedanimportanttruthaboutliving。Forwhilebothjoyandsorrowarefleeting，awihepowertoovereboth。Aforever。
老实说，我最幸福也是最悲惨的时刻到了——在我欣喜地期待着我第一个孩子降生的同时，往日精力充沛、热情开朗的母亲却在与脑肿瘤病魔的斗争中逐渐失利。
10年来，母亲以惊人的毅力独自与病魔抗争，虽然手术和药物治疗都没能获得成功，但她从未因此失去笑容。如今，年仅55岁的她最终全身瘫痪——不能说话，不能走路，连吃饭、穿衣都不能自理。
正当死神日益逼近她时，我体内的孩子快要出世了，最令我担心的是他们没有相见的机缘。我悲恸，不仅因为将要失去母亲，还因为她和我的孩子将永远无法相识。