第14章快乐由你决定ASimpleTruthaboutHappiness
佚名Anonymous
Iarticularlyhappydlikemostteenagers，Ireveledinmyangst。Oneday，however，itoethatIwastakingtheeasywayout。Anyonecouldbeunhappy;ittoeoreffort。Truegelayinstrugglingtobehappy。
&hatwehavetoinessesasomanypeople。Weassumeit'safeelingthatesasaresultofgoodthingsthatjusthappentous，thingsoverwhichwehavelittleornotrol。
Buttheoppositeistrue:happinessislargelyunderourtrol。Itisabattletobewagedandobea>
Toachieveahappierlife，it'sooverblingblocks，threeof>
parisonwithOthers
Mostofuspareourselveswithahinkishappier-arelative，anaeonewebarelykayoungmanwhostruckmeasparticularlysucdhappy。Hespokeofhisloveforhisbeautifulwifeaers，andofhisjoyatbeingaradiotalk-showhostinaemberthinkinghewasohoselueverythilesslyright。
&artedtalkingabouttheI。Heblesseditsexisteoldme，becausehecouldlookupinformationonmultiplesclerosis-theterriblediseaseafflighiswife。Ifeltlikeafoolforassumingnothinguedinhislife。
ImagesofPerfe
Almostanyofushaveimagesofhowlifeshouldbe。Theproblem，ofcourse，isthatonlyrarelydopeople'sjobs，spousesandliveuptotheseimaginedideals。
Here'sapersonalexample:Nooneinmyfamilyhadeverdivorced。Iassumedthatmarriagewasforlife。SowhenmywifeandIdivorcedthreeyearsafterthebirthofourson，myworld。Iwasafailureinmyowneyes。
Ilaterremarriedbutfidedtomywife，FranthatIp;apos;tshakethefeelingthatmyfamilylifehadfailed。Sheaskedmeithourfamilynow（whicludedherdaughterfromaprevieandmyson）。Ihadtoadmitthat，asidefromthepaihmysononlyhalfthetime（myex-wifeaody），ourfamilylifewaswonderful。
"Thenos;tyoucelebrateit?"sheasked。
That'swhatIdecidedtodo。ButfirstIhadtogetridoftheimageofa"perfeily。
"Missi;Syndrome
&ivewayofsabotagiolookatsomethiedoflaos;slikelookingupatafileddtratingonthespacewhereoileismissing。Asabaldma;Wheeraroom，allIseeishair。"
I'vespeudyinghappiness，ahemostsignifip;apos;vedrawnisthis:thereislittlecorrelatiohep;apos;slivesandhoytheyare。Amoment'srefleakethisobvious。eoplewhohavehadarelativelyeasylifeyetareessentiallyunhappy。Andhohavesufferedagreatdealbutgenerallyremainhappy。
&secretisgratitude。Allhappyperateful。Ungratefulpeopleotbehappy。Wetendtothinkthatbeingunhappyleadspeopletoplain，butit'struertosaythatplaiopeoplebeingunhappy。
Thesedsecretisrealizingthathappinessisaby-produethiobvioussourcesarethosepursuitsthatgiveourlivespurpose-anythingfromstudyioplayihemorepassiohemorehappinessos;relikelytoexperience。