第14章TheStina
MelissaNevels
ThesummerItureeherandI，livinginCorpusChristi，Texas。WerehislittleapartmentonNorthBeae1981。JustafewdaysafterwemovedihisgirlnamedGinawholivedwithsomepeopleinahousebehindus。Isay“people，”becausetheywereiuffIhadverylittleknowledgeof，inmyiheyoallyhadaJamaiguestwhowouldein，stayafewdays，thenleave。IrealizedsomeyearslaterthesigheJamaivisitor。Ididn’tknowmuchaboutthesepeopleGih，anddidokoowell。Therewerealwaysalotofadultsthathungaround，buttheyusuallywereipartofthehousewherethemusidleftustoourow。
Gihesepeoplebecause，Iguessyoucouldsay，shewashomeless，inasense，shewasaboutayearandahalfyouhay，beautifulsmile，prettyblgreethirteen，sheknewfarmoreaboutthestreetsthansheshouldhave。Shedidn’tkherwas，aherwasadrunk。Shehadaerwhowasmarriedtoamaninthenavy，andlivedi。NobodywantedGime。Ilovedherlikeasister。
Inthebegiledateachotherontheschoolbus。Ginawasatoughkid，andIguessasadefensemeism，shealutonthattough-kidarmorwhennecessary。Afteraweekorsoofschool，westartedtalking。Andsiheonlykidintheareamyage，wereallykiogether。Myfolksweredivordbarelyspokeuo。I’djustmoved600milesfromtheonlyhomeI’deverknowninMississippiandIwashomesidshehadnorealhome。Oncewerealizedwebothhadwoundstolick，itclidarable。Shewasagradebehme，sowehadher。Butassoonaswe’dboardtheschoolbusiilitwastimeforbed，weweretogether。
Welivedowasafive-minutewalkfromwherewelived，justamattertheroad。Ifitwaswarm，I’dgetoffthebusandhurriedlydomychoresthathadtobefinishedbeforemymomgothomefromwork。Thenquicklygetintomybathingsuit。We’dmeetupwithourtowelsandsmokesahesand。I’djuststartedsmokiGina。Shesmoked，nly，andithher，Ididn’tthinkaboutwhatmymomwoulddoifshefoundout。Inaway，IguessIwaeherfreespirit。ItwaserthatIrealizedtheintensesadhavefelt。
Aboutmidwayintotheschina’ssisteraskedhertoeahemi。Ioodwhyitttoask。SheknewGina’sdwhereshewasliving。Gina’smomstayeddruime，andIthinktheyhadabigfailingout，ahome。That’swheolivebehindme。Hermomdidn’twaleastthat’s
SoGime。Iwasheartbroken。Butatthesametime，Iythatshewasgoihhersister。Ithoughtthatifshewaswithfamily，she’dbeOK。Wewroteeachotherlettersatleasttwiceaweek，butfourmonthslatershecameback。Igotseveralstinaastowhyitdidn’twork-out。Ihavemyowntheories。
&on，theschoolyearwasingtoay15thbirthdaywasjustaroundtheymoma。Ginastayedbehiherpersonsomewhereincorpus，butwewroteletters，aouch。Taftwasonly18milesaway。Afterwewerethereabout6months，Ginawasagainlacetolive，andthenunswerelookingforsomebodytotakehersoshewouldn’tbeplaafosterhome。ThestotisGinastartedhavingathingwiththelady’s（thatshelivedwith）19-year-oldson。Ginawasjustfourteeime，andsheaskedGiually，shesawthisguyoffandonforawhile。Ginawasloose。Sheeratelylookingforsomebodytoloveherintheonlywaysheknewhow。Anditcosther。
Sowebecameherfosterfamily，ofsorts。Iwasworried。MymomandIwerelivingsoskimpilyasitwas。Webarelyhadmoopaythebills，andaeswehadourelectriedofffor。Iwasworriedabouthavingaofeed。ButIlovedher，andmymomfeltsorryforher。Shecouldseealittleinatoo。Wehadsomu!Webothsooes，aogethereveryweekend。Weeveotce，utiionforawholeday，andwemissedhavingourschoolpicturestakenthatday。Intheschoolyearbook，forthatyear，wheremypictureshouldbe，there’salittlecharawithabarrelaroundhismiddleandasignonitthatsays:“photonotavailable。”Actually，IbelieveitwasoorsthatstartedthebeginnioGina’sstaywithus。Ithinkmymomwasafraidshe’d“ruboffonme”。I’mamomnowandIbetteruand。
Ginawaswild，andyou’tcageawildanimalf。Shewaswithusabouteightmowaswinteragaiight，andfoodwassalikedthewildlife。Mymomdidn’tallowthetypeoflife，fegirl，thatshewasusedto。SoGinaeoneelsesheknew，andmadearraoleaveus。
&hewasthelasttimeIeversawher。We’dsharedaroomforsomanymonths，andittyaftersheleft。Imissedherterribly。Irememberherputtiuffintothebackofawhitecar。I’llwatghershuttheliddown，andturhasmileandsayihisisit，Iguess。”Ireplied“Yeah。。。youtakecareofyourself。Don’tdrinkaoomuch。”Welaughedandhugged。Shesaid，“Speakforyourself!”Thenwecried。She’dbeefrieerpartoftwoyearsahingihatIwouldneverseeheragain。
Ididmaime。Justoheplattofromours。Thenabouttwoyearslater，Igotaletterfromher，andshewasinMissouri。She’dhadababy，byamarriedman。“Buthelovesme，”shewrote。Ifeltverysad，andwonderedifshe’deverreallyfindwhatshesodesperatelywanted。Orwhatshethoughtshewanotnecessarilywhatsheneeded。
Ineverheardfraihesedletter。IwrotebaevergotarespohisdayIdon’tknoeoher，ifshe’salive，orwheresheis。Wheookpartofmewithher。Webecameliketwins，andwhenshewasgolikeI’dlostsomethingihi-like。Shewassofulloflife，anddidn’tdwelloiooutwardly。Andwewereclose，wesharedeverything。
Istillthieheseyears。Twoyounggirlsreaanhoodohs。Yeteachpathfamiliartotheother。Shestillhastheabilitytomakemesmile，aeallthatIhaveandallthatIam。