第45章摆脱失业的困扰（1）
&iheJob-lossBlues
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Pickupalmostaoday，aoseeastoryaboutlayoffs。Ifyou’reoheunlues（orifyourfamilymemberis），youmayfindyourselffeelingoverwhelmed，disoriented，orjustplainscared。
Losingajobissideredohefivemoststressfullifegesyouexperiehosewhohavebeefeelslikebeingrobbedofyouridentityandisaspainfulasthelossofalovedoythatresultsshakeupyourlife。It’snormaltofeelpanickyaboutfinanervousaboutthejobsearchprocess，orlonelyforyouroldunityofcoworkers。Andmanydownsizedemployeesareleftwwhattheycouldhavedobeigo（eveclearlywas）。Whetheryouwereexpegthecutorwereshockedbytheionsleaveyoufeelingparalyzedatodo。
Duringthistimeyourfamilymembersmaybedealingwiththeirownfearsandsenseofloss，addingtothepressureathome。Forexample，yourspousemayinsistonkeepiabsonyourjobsearchprocess。Oryour，feeliension，maystartbehavingbadlyatschool。
&ageoflossisdenialahisstageyoumayshutdowivated。Denialisohemind’srotegyou，butgettingstuthisstagetadditionalproblems。OnewomanIkicethatherjobwouldbeeliminatedinsixmonths。Butsheheredtopreparearesumeiwuntiltheweekbeforeshewastoleave。Stuial，shebelievedthatsomethingmiraculousreveable。
&agebriionanger，，sadness，andfear。Duringthisphaseyoumayvacillatebetweeremes。Whehalostherjobuedly，shewentfrintraffiioshakingandsobbi。Ysofangerorsadnessmaylastminutes，days，orweeks。Themoreyouexpressthemihyways—weratthegym，forinstance，yswithatrustedfriend—thequickerthey>
&ageoflossisace，whichmostpeopleetoslowly。Thisisthestagewheosened。Reagaplaceofa’thavetomeahepany’sas—justthatyou’vedeoveonwithyourlife。
Thereisnerieagesofloss。Mostpeoplemoveinandoutofthemovertime。Forexample，youmaystartsleepingmore（orless），eatingmore（orless），andyoumayevenfindyourselfrememberingotherlosses。Thesereasarenormal。Theyalsoserveasaremireatyourself
Itmaybehardtobelieveatfirst，butyouultimatelyusethisexperiee—tofindanother，perhapsevetheionshipwithyourfamilyandtomakesomemueededyourlife。Herearethreeessentialsteps。
Step1
&ionalsupport。
&’seasytofeeluledandvulnerable，reagouttoothersisthekeytomakeasmoothtransition。You’llneedpeoplewhowilllistenandprovideasafehavenforyoutovent，cry，orexpressyourtearsands。Youonatrustedfriend，afellowcoworkeriion，orasibling。Inaddition，youmightwanttojoinanonlinedisgroup（seestep2beloroupatyouruer。Yourloemploymentoffiprovideaffordableresourearyou。
&hissupportinplacebeforeyoutakestepstosecureyourion。Tooofteheiraeroajobiolosetheopportunityandfeeleveed。
Remember，yourspouseandwillbedealingwiththeirowyourjoblossandmayoofferyouthekindofsupportyouneed。Youshouldalsoavtopeoplewhoaddtoyourstresslevelorcriticizeyou。Instead，surrouhosewhomakeyoufeelhopefulathistransition。
Don’tgoitaloakescetoaskforhelp，a，helpmaybewhatyouomovefor