第46章镜中的女人（1）
TheWomanintheMirror
佚名Anonymous
WhenIwas11，IfoundoutIhadabraintumor。Ihadsurgerytoremoveit，butthesizeandloorcausedmyoptiervetoatrophy。Forthreeyearsafterartialsight，butmyophthalmologisttoldmethateventuallyIwouldgoblind。Attheendofmy14thyear，doelegallyblindandsaidtherewasnothingthatcouldbedone。Ihada5percethetumor，andIdid，butsomehowIeverdealwiththefactthatIwasgoingbliobehaveasifeverythifihappened，Iwasdevastated。
MydadleftuswhenIwas5，andItookthatreallyhard。Becauseofthat，andbecauseIwasblindontopofit，mygreatestfearwasthatnoooloveme，thatIwetmarriedandhavekidsandafulllife。Iwasafraidofbeingalone，aiswhatIthoughtbli。
Teer，onNov。16oflastyear，Iwasgdinneraokissmyguidedog，Ami。Ilostmybalamyheadontheycoffeetableahefloor。Itwasn’tunusual。Whenyouareblind，youhityourselfallthetime。Igotup，finishedmakingdinobed。
WhenIwokeup，Icouldsee。Lightwasingthroughmywindow，aainsweredrawn。Ofcourse，Iwasshocked，butlikewhenIlostmysight。Therewasabigmirrorinmybedroom，butIdidn’tlookatmyselfrightaway。Iwaouto。Idonotlookgoodinthem，andIdidn’twaened。AsIwasshhtmyrefledjustthatleftmespeechless，really。
&imeIsawmyself，Ihadshorthair，apaleplexiohatdidn’tshowbecauseIhadsuchlighteyebrowsandeyelashes。Ilookedawful，likeateenagegirl，Isuppose。Now，allofasuddehatitwastrueletoldme，thatIwasanattraaoodinfrontofthemirror，Ireayface。ThatwaswhatIhadbeendoingfor10years—itwashowIuood—soitulse。ItwasnotuntilIsawmyselfthatIrealizedhowmuchmymemoryhadfadedofthingsIoncecouldsee。ItwasaboutfourhoursbeforeItoldaayedwithAmi。Welookedateachotherasideintheyard。Ijustwaobealoakeitin。Itwassomuch。
&rahingwasthatIkwasgoingtohappen。Aboutaweekbefore，IwaswalkingAmiandsuddenlysawbluedotsinfrontofmylefteye，theoneIwainmysightin。ItoldmymumbecauseIfounditfunny；bluehadbeenmyfavoritedwastheeasiestetoseeartialsight。Itookitasasign。
Peopledomedifferentlynoayspletelyi。IlivedinAuewZealand，inmyownflatwithmydog。Iartiesandgog。Iwouldlisteofthemusidgoeforthebest。Whenyrabyouandpointyouiioheyareactuallyoverthere，thatiswhenyourememberyou’reblind。
Ialsolovedmovies。Goingtothemoviesblindwaslikesomeoellingyreatsous，andyoumakeupalltheimagesinyourhead。Ihaven’tbeenbaceIregainedmysight。ButI’vebeeoseemyfavoritesoap，“Shortla”。AookoutmagazinesaPamelaLeeAndersonandBradPitt。Thebiggestsurpriseitt。Ijustthought，whatwaseveryonegoingonabout？Thebestwasseeingmyboyfrieheferryover，ahemomentIsawhim。HewasassexyasIhadimagined。