第24章优于过去的自己（10）
Someofusmaythinkthatwe'vebeenhurttoodeeply，ortoooften，tive。Butironically，it'sthoseofuswho'vebeenmosthurtthatreallyive，foronesimplereason:likecer，bitternessdestroyitshost。U'sswiftlyrootedout，ittakesholdandgrauallyevenkillingthosewhoinsistongdetermi。
Forthetruthisthatunlesswefive，weeverrecover。Ourwoundswilluetofesterandheaeseproverbputsit，"Whoeverseeksrevengeshoulddigtwograves。"
Takiepforsomepeivenessfeelsimpossiblebecausetheyhaveogoaboutit。Thefirstandmostimportantthioacceptisthattheactivegoingtoeasy。Infact，itwillprobablybethehardestthingmostofuseverhavetodo。
&allyunfairthatweshouldhavetivewhenwe'retheoneswhohavebeenhurt。Andthat'sthecruxiveness。
Thesaying&quivea;mayrollofftheto'sasshallowasitisshort。Forohing，it'sdhtimpossible。Foramissesthewholepointivehineedfiveihingswe&#et。Ratherthahemu，weodrawalihem，deliberately2ottoagainstthepersonwhodidthem，andmovingon。
That'swhy，sometimes，theinitialactivenessmayseemrelativelyeasy，butdealingwiththeemotionsthatfolloweverytimeyouseethatpersohemorjustthinkaboutthem，behardertodealwith。Truefiveao;it'saotionaltation。
Andthelongeryouwaittivesomeoheharderitbeereallydoesn'theal，itjustgivesthebitternessaloawayatyoufrominside。Ifyouwaitforthe&quhttime"youmay。
&ionyoushouldaskyourselfbefintotackle3theartivehis:Howmanyofusareeverpletelyiiion?
So，mywife，elia，andIboughtapieceofcheap，flat-paeveure。Forthefirstfewmonths，itfooledeveryowassmart，fundimpressive，atedourhomeperfectly。Butastimerolledby，theveneersloeelattheedges。Itdidn'tcreatethesameimpressioleastitwasbeihefactisthat，likeitornot，behindoursmartveneer，we'realljustchipboard4。Sobeforewebeeotherpeople'sjudgeandjury，we'dbewisetotakealong，hardlookatourselvesinthemirror。Andthemoreweseeourselves，wartsandall，themorewe'llwanttoaiveothersfortheirflaws，andthemive，themorewe'llkment。
Wouldyhtorhappy?Fetasatisfyiion。Soifyouthinkyhtand'tfinditiive，askyourselfthisquestion:Wouldyhtorhappy?
&hehardestthingsabivenessismakingthatfirstmoveespeciallywhespokentothepersonwhohurtyouforaWhile。Butrememberthey'llprobablybehappytohearfromyou。Theymighteveyou'vedohey'vewaodoforyears。Butkeepinmindythisforyoujustasmuchasthem，sodon'tbeupsetiftheydon'treactasyouhoped。
Ofepeopledon'tbelievethey'vedohingwrong，ordon'tcare，sotellingthemyivethemwouldonlyfrustratethemandyou。Butthatdoesn'tmeanyou'tfindfivenessi。Infact，that'swhattruefiveinggerandhurt，beihenedandmovingon。
Themoreyounurtureyourresehemoreunhappyyou'llbee。Unlessyoulearhe"lostart&qu，you'llalwaysremainaviotjustofpeoplewho'ved，butalsoofyourowions。