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笔下小说>人生没有太晚的开始>第10章 每个成功者都知道的秘密

第10章 每个成功者都知道的秘密(第2页)

《感觉良好,新心理疗法》的作者大卫·伯恩斯在这本书中写道:“先有行动,后有动机。你得先给水泵注水,让它启动起来。如果想等到有心情时再做,那不知要等到什么时候。”不想做某事时,你可能会先把它放一放,但我们往往会在投身于做这件事后才会劲头十足。

自律是习惯的形成过程。它的益处很多,自律行为由少及多,久而久之,便形成了习惯。一旦彻底克服了旧习性,你就会感觉更好。自律时——无论是身体上,还是精神上——我们都处于最佳状态。

InOctober1982,a25-year-oldwomaheNewYorkCityMarathon。ilyoulearnthatLindaDownhascerebralpalsyawomaopletethe26。2-mileracrutfellhalfadozekeptgoinguntilshecrossedthefinishline,11hoursaftershestarted。Herhandicaplimitedherspeedbution。

HenryWadswfellowo;Greatistheartofbeginning,butgreatertheartisofending。"Howwouldbeifweallhadageniewhocouldhelpusfinishwhatwebegin。Unfortunately,wedon't。Butwhatwedohaveisadynamiccalleddise—whichextractsahighprice。FollowingoneofPaderewski'sperformansaidtohim,"I'dgivemylifetoplaylikethat。"Thebrilliantpianistreplied,"Idid。"

Aeivebecausewedon'tseethepainahatproduaycredittheachieverwithbrains,brawnorluckybreaks,aourselvesoffthehookbecausewefallshortihatwecouldallbeistsjustbyexeroughdise。Rather,eachofushasthemakingsofsusomeewewillachievethisonlyiflyourwillsand>

Howweacquirestick-at-itivehereisformula。ButIhavedevelopedawayofthinkingthathasrescuedmyownvagwillmorethahebasits:

"Don't"power

Thisisasimportantaswillpower。TheaesephilosopherMenciussaid,"Menmustbedewhattheywillnotdo,aheyareabletoactwithvigoriodo。"

Disemeanschoices

&imeyousayyestoagoalorobjective,yousaynotmanymore。Everyprizehasitsprice。Theprizeistheyes;thepriceisthenoriedUkrainian-Ameribaritooldofhisearlydaysstudyingvoiokeapipe,butonedayhisprofessorsaid,"Igor,youwillhavetomakeupyourmiheryter,reatpipe-smoker,youotbeboth。"Sothepipewent。

Delayedgratifi

M。ScottPeck,M。D。,authorofthebest-sellerTheRoadLessTraveled,describesthistoolofdiseas"aprocessofsgthepainandpleasureoflifeinsuchawayastoehepleasurebymeetingahepainfirstaoverwith。"

Thismightiinedailydeethingassimpleasskippingafavoritelate-nightTVshowaobedearly,tobewideawakeforameetimhtiermresolves。Ayoungiththreedecidedtoiherilementiionforherself。Shesideredtherealitiesofatightbudgetaime,buttheseseemedsmallsacrifireturhatadegreewouldopen。Todaysheisahighlypaidfinansultant。

&ofsueingpastthedrudgeryahedelight。"Thefactisthatmanyworthwhileendeavorsaren'tfun,"sayssyndicatedradioandTVortCrim,"True,alllaymakesJohnnyadullbtoturhioplaymakesforterriblefrustrations,becauselife—everewardingone—includescesthataren'tfunatall。Ilikemyjobasajournalist。It'spersonallysatisfying,butitisn'talwaysfun。"

Agabalance

Neverfusedisewithrigidity。Perfeottheaim;rather,striveforthepeaindthatbeinginchargeofyourself。

Mostofuserludesinourworktotakeawalkoreatsnack—whateverrevivesandrefreshes。Yourbreathersdon'thytoshakeoutthedgivesomerelief。Suchrewardsativesforfinishingatask,asingyoutomaium。

Truediseachievesabalance,n。Evendiseedstobedised。

Self-development

Disedpeoplearehappierpeoplebecausetheyarefulfilliial。Awomanatoneofmyseminarstoldmeabouthersix-year-olddaughterithateamandpracticedeverymforanhour,swimming2000to3000meters,sherelatedaversatihterhadwithafamilyfriend。

"Doyoulikeswimming?"thefriendasked。

"Yes,Iloveit。"

"Isitfun?"

"No!"

Thatsix-year-oldhadlearmanyadultshejoyofdisdself-development。Uheveryworddiseputsusoffbecauseitsouiveandpuruaalkingustomakesurewetoetheliruediseisn'tonyourbagyouwithimperatives;itisatyourside,nudgingyouwithiives。Whehatdiseisself-otself-g,youwon&#eatitsmention,butwillcultivateit。

CharleyBoswell,aformerUyofAlabamafootballstarwithhopesofaprofessionalbaseballcareer,losthiseyesightinWorldWarII,butthatdidn'tstophim"tobeetheNationalBlindGolfes"。Hewasquotedassaying,"IwhatI'velost。IonlytwhatIhaveleft。"Thatisself-development—thatisdise。

Habit-gstrategies

Manyaperson'sdowryingtogeabadhabitbyfoanundesirablebehaviortoreplaceit。

tlesspeopletellmetheywouldliketoeatbetterbutdon'twantto"giveup"tastyfood。Ratherthanthinkingaboutwhatthey'thave,theyshouldthinkaboutwhattheyeat。Fruitjuicewithsparklierisadelicioussubstitutefh-caloriesoftdrinks;snadcookiespreparedwithwholegrainsasgivedybarsgoodpetition。

Itisogeoldhabits。Awomaaseminarandsaid,"I'msoundised。I'tsticktoadietandmyhouseisalwaysamess。Ifeellikeaslob。"Itoldhershewasn'ttotallyundised。"Youmadeittothisce。Youarrivepromptlyatea,alydressed。"Shealmostsmiled,andthe;There'sprobablyareasonwhyyouhaven'tbeeoloseweightetyourhomei;

Later,Ifoundouttherewasabigreason。Sheedayearbefore。Herhusbandhadbeenanalcoholicwhoverballyabusedherall24yearse。Itneveroccurredtoherthatapoorself-imageingherfromeffegpositiveges。Withthisrealizatioheepinbringingmoredisetoherlife—bygoingforg。Meanwhile,someofherfrieoetoherhouseandhelpherup,puttingherevenmoresolidlyonahabit-gcourse。

Mier

IremembermyschooldaysandMom&#ularreveille:"Timetogetup!"Iagonizedihelastminuteandranmymother'spatieheodhadtogetmyselfup。Finally,tiredofakihatwhenthealarmrang,Iwouldrise—justbecauseIwaardlessofhowIfelt。Ithasworkedeversince。

InFeelingGood,TheherapyDavidD。Burns,M。D。,writes:"Motivatioefirst,adoes!Youhavetoprimethepump。Ifyouwaituntilyou'reinthemood,youmaywaitforever。"Whenyoudon'tfeellikedoihiitoff,butit'softeiaskthatwebeehighlymotivated。

Diseishabit-f。Alittleleadstomore,becausethebesprlydesirable。Whenyoufinallyovereiia,youwillfeelbetterallarouourbest—physidmentally—lined。

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