第8章在行路中遇见自己（7）
about1904，myfatherrentedaalakeiookusallthereforthemonthofAugust。WeallgwormfromsomekittensandhadtorubPoonourarmsaandm，andmyfatherrolledoverihallhis;butoutsideofthatthevawasasudfromthenonnohoughttherelatheworldlikethatlakeiurersummer—alwaysonAugust1stforoh。Ihavesi-waterman，butsometimesiherearedayswhelesshetidesandthefearfulcoldoftheseawaterandtheiacrosstheafternoonandintotheeveningmakemewishfortheplacidityofalakeinthewoods。AfewweeksagothisfeelinggIboughtmyselfacoupleofbasshooksandaspiurhelakewhereweusedtogo，foraweek’sfishingaoldhaunts。
Itookalongmyson，whohadneverhadaeruphisnoseandwhohadseenlilypadsonlyfromtrainwindows。OnthejourhelakeIbegawouldbelike。Iwoimewouldhavemarredthisuhisholyspot—thedstreams，thehillsthatthesuhedthepathsbehindthecamps。IwassurethetarredroadwouldhavefounditoutandIwootherwaysitwouldbedesolated。Itisstrangehowmuemberaboutplaceslikethatonceyouallowyourmiothegrooveswhichleadbaberohing，andthatsuddenlyremindsyou。IguessIrememberedclearestofalltheearlyms，whenthelakewasotionless，rememberedhowthebedroomsmelledofthelumberitwasmadeofawoodswhosesteredthroughthes。Thepartitionsinthecampwerethinanddidehetopoftherooms，andasIwasalwaysthefirstupIwoulddresssoftlysoasnottowaketheothers，aothesweetoutdoorsandstartouttheoe，keepiheshoreinthelongshadowsofthepines。Irememberbeingveryevertorubmypaddleagainstthegunwaleforfearthestillhecathedral。
Thelakehadyouwouldcallawildlake。Thererinkledaroundtheshores，anditwasinfarmingtryalthoughtheshoreofthelakewerequiteheavilywooded。Someofthecottageswereownedbynearbyfarmers，andyouwouldliveattheshoreayourmealsatthefarmhouse。That’swhatourfamilydid。Butalthoughitasafairlylargeandundisturbedlakeandtherewereplaitwhich，toachildatleast，seemedieandprimeval。
Iwasrightaboutthetar:itledtowithinhalfamileoftheshore。ButwhenIgotbackthere，withmyboy，aoaearafarmhouseandintothekindofsummertimeIhadknown，Icouldtellthatitwasgoiymuchthesameasithadbeenbefore—Ik，lyihefirstm，smellingthebedroom，aheboysandgooffalongtheshoreinaboat。IbegantosustaintheillusionthathewasI，andtherefore，bysimpletransposition，thatIwasmyfather。Thisseed，keptgupallthetimewewerethere。Itwasirelyigrewmuger。Iseemedtobelivingadualexistence。Iwouldbeinthemiddleofsomesimpleact，Iwouldbepigupabaitbdownatablefork，orIwouldbesayihing，awouldbenotIbutmyfatherwhowassayingthewthegesture。Itgavemeasation。
&fishim，Ifeltthesamedampmthewormsidsawthedragonflyalightoipofmyrodasithoveredafewihesurfaceofthewater，itwasthearrivalofthisflythatebeyondanydoubtthateverythingwasasitalwayshadbeen，thattheyearswereamirageandtherehadbeehesmallwaveswerethesame，gtherowboatuheaswefishedatandtheboatwasthesameboat，thesamecreenandtheribsbrokeninthesamepladerthefloor，boardsthesamefresh-waterleavihedeadhellgrammite，thewispsofmoss，therustydiscardedfishhook，thedriedbloodfromyesterday’scatch。Westaredsilentlyatthetipsofourrods，atthedragodweipofmihewater，tentatively，pensivelydislodgingthefly，whichdartedtoised，dartedtwofeetbadcametaiheruptherod。Therehadbeeweenthedugonflyaheroastofmemory。Ilookedattheboy，whowassilentlywatghisfly，anditwasmyhandsthatheldhisrod，myeyeswatg。Ifeltdizzyanddidn’tknowwhichrodIwasattheendof。