第32章孪生兄弟（4）
&eveniomylodgisofthepreviouseveninghadmademenervousandill;Ihadtriedtocuremyselfandattaihinkingbywalkingintheopenair，butIressedwithahorriblepreseofevil—apresewhichIulate。Itwasachill，foggynight;mygandhairandIshookwithydressing-goersbeforeablazinggrateofcoalsIwasevenmoreunfortable。Inoloshuddered—thereisadifferehedreadofsomeimpendingcalamitywassanddispiritingthatItriedtodriveitawaybyinvitingarealsorrow—triedtodispeltheofaterriblefuturebysubstitutingthememoryofapainfulpast。Irecalledthedeathofmyparentsaofixmyminduposadsesattheirbedsidesandtheirgraves。Itallseemedvagueandunreal，ashavingesagoandtoanotherpersorikingthroughmythoughtandpartingitasatensecordispartedbythestrokeofsteel—Ikofnootherparison—Iheardasharpcryasofony!
Thevoicewasthatofmybrotheraothestreetoutsidemywindtothewindowaopelampdirectlyoppositethrewawanandghastlylightupopavemesofthehouses。Asinglepoli，withupturnedcollar，wasleaningagai，quietlysmokingaooneelsewasinsight。Iclosedtheulleddowntheshade，seatedmyselfbeforethefireaofixmymindups。Bywayofassisting，byperformaniliaraywatch;itmarkedhalf-pasteleven。Agaiawfulcry!Itseemedimyside。Iwasfrightenedandforsomemomentshadomove。Afewmier—Ihaveioermediatetime—IfoundmyselfhurryingalonganunfamiliarstreetasfastasIcouldwalk。Ididnotknoas，noing，butpresentlyspraepsofahousebeforeoorthreecarriagesandinwhichweremovinglightsandasubduedofvoices。Itwasthehovan。
Youknow，goodfriend，whathadoccurredthere。InonechamberlayJuliaMargovan，hoursdeadbypoison;ievens，bleedingfromapistolwou，inflictedbyhisownhand。AsIburstintotheroom;pushedasidethephysidlaidmyhanduponhisforeheadheunclosedhiseyes，staredblankly，slowlyaasign。
Iknewilsixweeksafterwards，whenIhadbeeolifebyyourownsaintlywifeinyourowifulhome。Allofthatyouknow，butwhatyoudonotknowisthis—which，however，hasnupoofyourpsychologicalresearches—atleastnotuponthatbraninwhich，withadelidsiderationallyourown，youhaveaskedforlessassistahinkIhavegivenyou:
OnemoonlightnightseveralyearsafterassingthroughUniohehourwaslateandthesquaredeserted。memoriesofthepastnaturallyindasIcametothespotwhereIhadofatefulassignation，andwiththatunatableperversitywhiptsustodwelluponthoughtsofthemostpainfulcharacterIseatedmyselfupohebeoihem。Amahesquareahewalktowardme。Hishandsedbehindhim;hisheadwasbowed;heseemedtoobservenothing。AsheapproachedtheshadowinwhichIsatIreizedhimasthemanwhomIhadseeJuliaMargovahatspot。Buthewasterriblyaltered—grey，wgard。Dissipationandvievideneverylook;illnesswasnolessapparent。Hisgwasindisorder，hishairfellacrosshisforeheadiwhichwasatony，andpicturesque。Helookedfitterforrestraintthaherestraintofahospital。
WithnodefinedpurposeIroseand。Heraisedhisheadandlookedmefullintheface。Ihavenowordsthastlygethatcameoverhisown;itwasalookofuerrhthimselfeyetoeyewithaghost。Buthewasaan。"Damnyou，Joh;hedliftinghistremblingarmhedashedhisfistfeeblyatmyfadfellheadlonguponthegravelasI>
Somebodyfouohingmoreisknownofhim，noteveoknowofamanthatheisdeadshouldbeenough。