第11章她未曾放弃我（1）
SheDidn'tGiveuponMe
金伯利·安妮·布兰德KimberlyAnneBrand
Ilayonthefloor，furiouslykigmylegsailmythroatfeltraw—allbecausemyfostermotherhadaskedmetoputmytoysa>
“Ihateyou，”Ishrieked。IwassixyearsoldanddidandwhyIfeltsoangryallthetime。
I’dbeenlivinginfosterceIwastwo。Myrealmom’tgivemyfivesistersaheeeded。Sihaveadadoraocareforus，wewereputierhomes。Ifeltlonelyandfused。Ididn’tknowhowtotellpeoplethatIhurtihrowingatantrumwastheonlywayIkoexpressmyfeelings。
BecauseIactedup，eventuallymyseotheadoptioasthemombeforehad。IthoughtIwasthemostunlovablegirlintheworld。
&KateM。Iwassevenbythattimeandlivingwithmythirdfosterfamilywhe。WhehertoldmethatKatewassiedtoadoptachild，Ididn’tthinkshe’de。Iagineanyonewouldwaolivewiththemforever。
Thatday，Katetookmetoapumpkinfarm。Wehadfun，butIdidn’tthinkI’dseeheragain。
Afewdayslater，asoetothehousetosaythatKatewaoadoptme。ThensheaskedmeifI’dmindlivingwithoeadoftwo。
“AllIwantissomeonewholovesme，”Isaid。
&edtheday。SheexplaiwouldtakeayearfortheadoptiontobefiIoveinwithhersooedbutafraid，too。Katearangers。Iwonderedifshe’dgehermitoknowme。
Katesensedmyfear。“Iknowyou’vebeenhurt，”shesaid，huggingme。“Iknowyou’rescared。ButIpromiseI’llneversendyouaway。We’reafamilynow。”
Tomysurprise，hereyeswerefilledwithtears。SuddehatshewasaslonelyasI>
“Okay。。。Mom，”Isaid。
Thefollowimynearents，aunt，unds。Itfeltfunny—butgood—tobewithstrangerswhohuggedmeasthoughtheyalreadylovedme。
WhehMom，Ihadmyownroomforthefirsttime。Ithaderandamatgbedspread，anantiquedresserandabigcloset。IhadohesI’dbroughtwithmeinabr。“Don’tworry，”Momsaid。“I’llbuyyoulotsofprettyhings。”
&osleepthatnightfeelingsafe。IprayedIwouldoleave。
Momdidlotsofhiookmetochurch。Sheletmehavepetsandgavemehandpianolessons。Everyday，shetoldmeshelovedme。Butlovewasohealthehurtiwaitiogehermind。Ithought，“IfIaough，she’llleavemeliketheothers。”
SoItriedtohurtherbeforeshecouldhurtme。IpickedfightsoverlittlethingsarumswhenIdidmyway。Islammeddoors。IfMomtriedtostopme，I’dhither。Butshepatience。She’dhugmeandsayshelovedmeamad，shemademejumponatrampoline。
BecauseIwasfailinginsIcametolivewithher，Momwasverystriework。OnedayatgTV，shedturoff。“Youwatchitafteryoufinishyourhomework，”shesaid。Iblewup。Ipickedupmybooksahemacrosstheroom。“IhateyouandIdon’twanttolivehereanymore！”Iscreamed。
Iwaitedforhertotellmet。Whe。Iasked，“Aren’tyougoingtosendmeback？”
“Idohewayyou’rebehaving，”shesaid，“butI’llneversendyouback。We’reafamily，agiveupoher。”