第12章TheGift
JunieGirl
Itwaswellaftermid-night，edinmywarmfleecyrobe1IstoodsilentlystarihfloorwindowofthedauntingNewYorkhospital。IwasstarireetBridge。ItarkliifulasaChristmastree。NewYorkcityhasalwaysbeeome;theBroadwaytheatre，themusic，therestaurants—fromthedeli’stotheTavern-Ohisiswhatthecityissupposedtobeabout，”Iththemtoeaaihemdideandatninea。m。onthatMarch17th，Iwaswheelediingroom。Elevenhoursandforty-fivemierIwaswheeledintoare，andaveryfewhreturomyownhospitalroom，Ifouuallyo，halfwalking，halfpropelledbymedicalequipmentandmembersofmyfamily。Theordersweretowalkthelengthandbackofthelonghospitalcorridor。
ItwasthenthatIfirstsawhim。Isawhimthroughahazes，painandthedreamyuhatthiscouldbehappeningtome。Hewasstandinginthedooritalroom。Inmytwilight，ueIsawhimalmostasaspiritshaperatherthanafullblowthebodylahisshapewassomehowsendingoutsympathyandeome。
Thisbecamemydailyroutihreeweeks。AsIgailemththemaandinginthedoorway，smilingandnoddingasIwouldpasswithoneormoremembersofmyfamily。Ohedtosoloupthecorridor。AsIpassedhisroom，therewasmyfaithfulfriendinthedoorway。Hewasaslenderdarkan。Istoppedami。Heiohiswife，andhissonwhowaslyinglistlesslyinahospitalbed。ThedayasImademyscheduledwalk，hecameoutahmetomyroom。HeexplaiheandhiswifehadbroughttheirteehishospitalofhopefromIraillhoping，butthigoioldmeofhowIhadencedhimonthatfirstdreadfulnight’swalkingtouraihreemoreweeksweuedourversations—eagtheiftandfrieoldmeofhowheenjoyedseeingmyfamilyastheyralliedaroundmeandIwassaddehelohatsmallfamilysofarfromhome。
Miraculously，theredideadaywheoldmeIwouldbedischargedthefoll。ThatnightItoldmyfriemhe。Ihadbeenupanddressedsin。MybrightyellavemehopeandIalmostlookedhumaalkedabit。ItoldhimIwouldprayforhissohashruggedhisshoulders，indigthehopelessness。ouldheragain，inthisworld。Thismaninhissorroyforme。Ifelthislove。Hetookmyhandandsaid，“Youaremysister。”Iansweredbadsaid，“Youaremybrother。”Heturheroom。
Myfamilycametoretrieveme。Dodosaytheirgoodbyesandgiveorders。AllbusinesshadbeentakeersevenandahalfweeksIwasleavialroomIhadwalkedintowithsomuchtrepidation。
AsIturowalkdownthecorridortotheelevator，mybrotherstoodinthedoorway，smiling，noddingandgivinghisblessing。
Itwas14yearsagotodayonMarch17th1990thatIeroomandmuchhashappeheworldsiherandIsaidourlastfarewell。YetIthinkofhimoftenandheisalwaysiasIfeelIaminhis。Irememberhisintense，darkbroledgedourselvesasbrotherahatmomeadoubtthattheSpiritofGodhoveredoverussmiling，noddingandblessinguswiththekweareallone。
ManytimesIhavepoheyearswhywehumaourdearestfriendsorbohanotherpersovulhinkitisbewefacealifethreateningillness，jobloss，whatevertheaybe;weareleftpletelyretensionasandsoulsareopentothosearoundusaoaccepttheloveandkihers—almostasfreelyandthankfullyasacceptlove。Thiskindofloveisblindtorace，ddleadstoapairofdarkbrowneyesseekingapairofveryblueeyesandpledgiwilllastthroughtime。